Excerpt Number Four!

Here's the fourth excerpt! I've really been trying to write a lot - it's so surprising how far behind you can get if you don't write for three days!! =S So far I'm at 17,142 words...and I need to be at 31,667. Oh, well...I'll get there at some point. Tell me what you think!!

“Matthew. Come in here,” hissed Mark, motioning Matthew to enter the stall.

“ Why are we whispering?” asked Matthew, ducking inside.

“Well, I don’t want everyone to hear,” said Mark. “Listen, what would you think of joining the Stonewall Brigade?”

“The Stonewa…What?” asked Matthew in surprise.

“You know. General Jackson’s brigade? They fought so well at Manassas and – “

“I know who Stonewall is, Mark,” replied Matthew. “But you know Papa told us to stay here! How would he feel to have us disobey him? Besides, I’d be frightened to disobey him.”

“Listen, Matthew,” said Mark in his most convincing tone. “We have a duty to the Confederate States of America. President Davis has called for volunteers, and it would be wrong of us to not listen to that call. Besides, do you really want to go through the war constantly hearing everyone in town mocking you for not being in the army? I am not a coward!” Mark exclaimed, pounding his fist down on the top of the wooden stall divider.

“Mark, I am not a coward either,” said Matthew, trying to calm his brother down.

“Then let’s go!” Mark cut his brother off.

“Mark,”

“No, Matthew. I have had enough of people telling me their opinions on our status here. Even Robert Lacy was berating me for not joining! Come on, Matthew…you cannot seriously abide it!”

Matthew stuck his hands deep in his trouser pockets. 




Thank you all for your votes on my book covers! You can still vote for two more days.

Excerpt Number Three!

Alright - here's the third excerpt. This one is actually really long - but I wanted to get everyone's opinion on it. So far I've just been "getting inside of" Kady's head...and that's how it will stay. But I was thinking that it would be a great "on the side" storyline to follow her brother Mark, too. The following excerpt is the first time the reader gets to hear Mark's thoughts. I'd love to know what you all think about this - should I "be in his head" from the beginning, or is it good to just drop in at this point?

Mark was standing a little apart from the group as his papa walked up. “Mark, look at me,” his papa said softly.

Mark fought the desire to yell at papa and tell him that he was fully able to go to war. Struggling between this desire and the desire to obey papa, especially as he might never see him again, Mark felt torn. Part of him wanted to inflict pain on his papa; to make him suffer just because Mark was suffering. The other part of him was screaming, “No, Mark! Hug your papa and obey him! If you don’t it will only pain him and make his going away worse!”

The confusion in Mark’s eyes was evident as he finally looked up at his papa.

“Son,” said papa, “don’t be bitter. I know that you are struggling right now, and I want you to be man enough to make the hard decision to obey. ‘To obey is better than sacrifice,’ and is hard to do…but you know it is right.” Forcing Mark to look back at him, Papa continued. “I’m praying that the Lord will save you, son,” he said softly. “You are very dear to my heart, and if I never see you again here on earth, I want to know that we will be together once more in Heaven. You know very well that salvation is the most important thing in life. Please, son, go to Christ. He will take your burden of sin and cast it as far as the east is from the west. No one can or ever will love you like He does.”

Mark willed himself to not look down. Now he was angry. The nerve of Papa! To say such a thing in front of the entire family! Besides, Mark had heard Papa say that whole speech a hundred times before. Why did he have to repeat it when Mark knew exactly what he was going to say?

Mark stiffly submitted to the embrace as Papa pulled him in to his arms. As he saw the tears in Papa’s eyes, he took almost a delight in tormenting him; yet at the same time he felt horrible remorse at treating his papa so terribly.

“I will be praying for you, Mark, my dear son,” his papa whispered, finally releasing him.

I definitely want my characters to live in godly christian homes (actually very common then...at some point I'll do a post on why in the world I'm siding with the south. ;)  ) but I really don't want it to be cheesy or dumb. I want it to be real, and I want to make it so that an unbeliever would be able to read my book and not think, "Oh, here she goes, presenting her own belief instead of just giving me true history." I really don't want it to sound like that. Even though that is my belief, I don't want to come off in the wrong way. (Did that make sense?? =)    )

So give me your thoughts! =) Like I said before, friendly criticism is extremely welcome, and I'd truly love to hear what you all think!



All writing is copyrighted by Hannah B. and MAY NOT be used without permission.

Excerpt Number Two!

Okay - here's another excerpt from my book! My book has some romance in it, and I've been very nervous about writing it. I've never tried to write love before, but I'm really liking how it's going so far! Seriously, I'd love for everyone to tell me exactly what you think about this paragraph. Good, bad, whatever...but I'd love your opinion!

Kady walked up the stairs to her bedroom and closed the door. She had known very well that her mother would not open the letters – but she wanted to know what they said so badly. Their dear friends, the Stuarts, had moved from Virginia to Minnesota years ago. “When will I see them again?” wondered Kady dismally, fingering the ribbon that tied old letters from Josiah, Ariel, Charlotte, and the other Stuart children. Letters were treats that didn’t come all that often, due to the distance between the two families, and recently politics and high tension had caused many delays. It had been two years since their last visit South, and Kady knew it would be much longer before they would all be together again. She thought back over the years, remembering the wonderful times they used to have together. The Stuart children had grown up with the Bowens and had gone through good times and bad times together. Rubin, the youngest, was now ten and was the special friend of Kady’s younger sister, Kristen. He was a rambunctious boy, full of mischief, and had always been a handful for his parents, Jack and Marie. Annie, age seven, was also close to Kristen. She had been named after Kady’s mother, and had Anne’s sweet disposition. Charlotte was fifteen and was close to Kady. Sweet and playful, she was always the family’s encourager and always wore a happy smile. Jack, the next oldest at sixteen, was named for his papa, and tended to be peace maker between two of Kady’s brothers, Matthew and Mark. The three boys were inseparable. Ariel was Kady’s closest friend and confidante, was seventeen just like Kady, and was just as gentle, caring, and playful as her younger sisters. Stephen, eighteen, was Kady’s brother Henry’s good friend, and the two of them had often gotten each other into trouble in their younger years. William, the oldest of the Stuarts at twenty-one, was very close to Richard, Kady’s oldest brother. He and Kady had also grown closer and closer over the years, and their friendship continued to blossom. “Will it ever be something more?” Kady thought, wistfully, tracing the flow of the pink satin ribbon on her dark brown skirt. She had cared deeply for Will almost ever since she had known him. “But what does he feel?” she wondered uncertainly.

Kady glanced out the window at the gradually setting sun. She had a few moments until Sarah served dinner. Untying the pack of letters, she began to read.

 I would've liked to put in the letter she reads from Will, but I think this paragraph is pushing it. =) I don't want to put much of my book on my blog...but I wish I could! Anyway...let me know what you all think about it!

All writing is copyrighted by Hannah B. and MAY NOT be used without permission.

It Begins!

Well, NaNoWriMo has officially begun! Here are some odds and ends from my book as it stands so far...

A tall girl in a long, full dress holding two letters ran up the dirt road to a grand, white house. The late afternoon sun cast long shadows beneath the plentiful trees that framed the house, and kissed the bright flowers with orange-red passion. The columns of the mansion caught and reflected the brilliant glow, sending warm light shivering everywhere, but none of this beauty could catch the girl’s eye today. She wasn’t sure if she was excited or scared – the recent rumblings of trouble in the US government had made everyone nervous about receiving letters and newspapers. Ever since South Carolina had succeeded in December, tension had been high. Everyone said it was only a matter of time before Virginia succeeded, too, adding to the long list of the Southern states that formed the Confederate States of America. Casting a second glance behind her, the girl hurried up the wide stone steps to the porch and entered through the old oak door. Pausing to tidy the fly-away hairs escaping her large bun, she slowed her pace and walked into the front parlor.


Let me know what you all think of it! (Friendly criticism is very welcome!) That was the beginning paragraph of my book...I'm really excited to be working on this.

Please know that all writing and graphic design on this blog is copyrighted by Hannah B. and may not be used without permission.