A tall girl in a long, full dress holding two letters ran up the dirt road to a grand, white house. The late afternoon sun cast long shadows beneath the plentiful trees that framed the house, and kissed the bright flowers with orange-red passion. The columns of the mansion caught and reflected the brilliant glow, sending warm light shivering everywhere, but none of this beauty could catch the girl’s eye today. She wasn’t sure if she was excited or scared – the recent rumblings of trouble in the US government had made everyone nervous about receiving letters and newspapers. Ever since South Carolina had succeeded in December, tension had been high. Everyone said it was only a matter of time before Virginia succeeded, too, adding to the long list of the Southern states that formed the Confederate States of America. Casting a second glance behind her, the girl hurried up the wide stone steps to the porch and entered through the old oak door. Pausing to tidy the fly-away hairs escaping her large bun, she slowed her pace and walked into the front parlor.
Let me know what you all think of it! (Friendly criticism is very welcome!) That was the beginning paragraph of my book...I'm really excited to be working on this.
Please know that all writing and graphic design on this blog is copyrighted by Hannah B. and may not be used without permission.
6 comments:
This is awesome, Hannah!
I love historical fiction, and your intro paragraph has me hooked already. =) I can't wait until you share more about it.
Sister in Christ,
Emily
emilygrace-photography.blogspot.com
*sigh* Hannah... you cannot just leave me dangling!!!!! More, more, more! =)
LOVE IT!!! especially the part..."and kissed the bright flowers with orange-red passion". I didn't know you liked to write! It's amazing already, I just can't wait till you write the rest!!!!!!
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~/~ Mattea
Aw, thanks everyone! ;D I'm really, really glad you all like it so far! It's very helpful to get encouragement like that because I tend to be very hard on myself when it comes to critiquing my own writing
So thanks, girls! =)
(If any of you would like me to email you the finished book to read privately, feel free to just email me. I don't want it published online or stolen - that's why I can't post it all on my blog. =L So just let me know! Oh, you can email me at hannahrosephotography@live.com if you want! ;) )
Looks like a great start! I enjoyed reading your excerpts.
One quick little thing to point out, if I may... The Southern states "seceded", not "succeeded". ;) Unless, of course, I totally misunderstood what you wrote...which is entirely possible. :)
Thanks, Mrs. Baker!
(and thanks for catching my spelling error! I was probably writing too fast. =) )
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